Stupid
by Rainnboots
Summary: How many times does one have to be called "stupid" before one starts believing it's true?


**Author's Note: **So this oneshot is a result of three hours worth of work last night (which I should've been spending writing a new chapter for "_Finding My Religion_" but, of course, did not) and a hasty twenty minute editing job this morning. Unbetaed (as of yet), so any mistakes are mine. But this was inspired by how many times Logan uses the word "stupid" in their show. He says it quite a bit (three, at my current count; which isn't a huge amount, but still), and so far, they've all been directed at/about Carlos. It irks me just how often he says it, and it got me to thinking; how many times does someone have to be called "stupid" before they start thinking it's true? One more note: This is set in the same universe as my multi-chapter story, "_Finding My Religion_," but you needn't have read it to understsand. Just know that Carlos and Logan are in love. I hope you guys like it, please take a minute to review and let me know what you think. :)

**Disclaimer:** Any recognizable names and/or places are the property of their respective owners.

**Warnings:** Guy/guy relationship.

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><p>"Come on, Carlos, you know that's not true." It was Kendall's voice; smooth, even, comforting.<p>

"He _always_ says it." This was Carlos's; quiet, hitchy, distraught.

"Sometimes people say things they don't really mean; I do it all the time. Everyone does."

"But he's _smart_, Kendall."

"Well, we can all be kind of stupid sometimes."

"But how am I _always_ stupid?"

"You're not, Carlos."

"_Then why does he always say that_?"

Logan furrowed his brow, quickly moving from the kitchen counter to Kendall and James's bedroom, peeking inside.

Carlos and Kendall were seated on the latter's bed, Carlos's face in his sleeves as Kendall's hand rested on his back.

"He just doesn't realize what he's saying," Kendall explained, "or how much it can hurt people."

Kendall's eyes moved from Carlos to Logan. Logan opened his mouth to speak but Kendall shook his head. Kendall darted his eyes out the door and Logan's eyebrows cinched together in confusion. Kendall looked back at Carlos, moving his hand up to his Carlos's hair as he leaned close and spoke into his ear. Logan stayed where he was, feeling his heart beat a little too quickly in his chest. When Kendall looked back up he shook his head, flicking his chin up at Logan, once again darting his eyes out the door.

_"Later,"_ Kendall mouthed. He turned his attention back to Carlos, and that was that.

Logan hesitated a moment in the doorway before moving himself to the couch, chewing on the inside of his lips, his eyes constantly flipping between his lap and the hallway, waiting. When Kendall finally emerged, he caught Logan by surprise.

Logan jumped as Kendall sat on the coffee table in front of him, one of his hands barely missing his own face as he was snapped out of his thoughts.

"Kendall," he managed between a heaving breath. "Jeez, I didn't see you."

Kendall cocked his eyebrows upward for a moment, running his hands along his thighs as he nodded.

"What's wrong with Carlos? Is everything okay? Why didn't you want me in there?" Logan asked.

"He was upset because of you," said Kendall.

"What? What did I do?"

"He's convinced you think he's stupid."

Logan shook his head, raising his arms for a moment before letting them slap back down to the couch. "Why would he think that? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"It's because of that right there," said Kendall, pointing a finger and Logan's chest. Logan looked down for a moment.

Logan looked down at his chest for a moment. "What, my shirt?"

"No; '_that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard_.' Everything is stupid to you," Kendall explained. "Especially when it has to do with Carlos."

Logan closed his eyes. "Kendall, you're not making any sense."

"Carlos thinks you think he's stupid because you're always saying his ideas or the things he says or the things he does are stupid."

"But I don't — I _know_ Carlos is smart."

"Well you don't act like you do," said Kendall. "Carlos thinks the world of you, you know that? He puts you on a pedestal, and you _obviously_ don't realize it, but what you say to Carlos actually _matters_ to him."

"I..." Logan let out a helpless breath. "I don't think he's stupid. I would never think Carlos is stupid."

Kendall shrugged, then stood up. "Go tell him that."

Logan chewed on his lip again as he stood up, his eyes slightly dazed as he stared into space.

"I'm going to go meet Katie at the park," said Kendall, jerking a thumb over his shoulder towards the front door. He reached out a hand to pat Logan's arm. "Catch you later."

Logan grunted, pushing his hands deep into his pockets and starting for the bedroom. He sucked in a breath outside the door, letting it out in a quick burst before he walked through the threshold.

Carlos looked up as Logan walked in, then quickly ducked his head back down. He reached his hand up, scratching his scalp with his pen as he flipped a page in his Bible. A journal was open on the bed beside him, the bottom half tucked beneath his thigh, and the top resting against his leg.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't—" Logan began.

"S fine," Carlos mumbled, tucking his pen behind his ear, his back hunched far over the book.

"Oh, well then, do you uh, mind if I study in here?"

"I don't care."

Logan nodded, sucking in his top lip as he picked up a large textbook off the trunk in front of his bed, pulling a notebook out from under a stray jacket and taking a pen from the bedside table drawer. He pushed his reading glasses onto his nose and flopped open the book, folding his notebook open and setting it on his lap, laying a homework sheet beside him. He worked through the first few problems, his eyes darting up to Carlos every few moments. Carlos was resting his head against his palm, his elbow propped up on his knee, his face turned away from Logan. A purposeful gesture, Logan knew, and he could feel his chest constricting at the thought.

"Hey, Carlos—" Logan swallowed, clearing his throat lightly. "When you finish that, would you mind helping me with this? You're better at this math than I am."

Carlos entire body sighed and he dropped his hand, closing up his Bible and journal and setting them on the nightstand. He kept his eyes low as he moved to Logan's bed, sitting so one leg was hanging off the side, the other tucked up beneath him.

"What do you need help with?" he asked.

"It's these two expressions, on that sheet we got yesterday," said Logan, turning his notebook and problem sheet so Carlos could see his work. "I worked through them, but there's no way what I wrote down are the right answers."

Carlos pulled his pen out, looking from the problem sheet to the notebook and back again. He put the end of his pen in his mouth, thinking for a moment, before pulling the notebook closer towards him.

"It's because you multiplied these two numbers wrong and then you squared them," said Carlos, pointing to one expression before moving on to the next. "Then in this one, you completely forgot to multiply the numbers before squared them." He scratched out a few numbers before turning the book back to Logan. "See?"

"Oh, yeah," said Logan, trying to catch Carlos's gaze, but it was fixed on the paper. "Thanks."

Carlos simply nodded. "That it?"

"Well, there's this one thing, in chemistry — if you could hand me the book down there, I could show you..." Logan was reaching forward across the bed, his fingers straining to reach the oversized chemistry book sitting on his trunk. Carlos reached back, pulling it towards him and sliding it across the bed to Logan. As Logan reached to open it, he found Carlos's hand still resting on top.

"What?" Logan asked.

"I know what you're doing," said Carlos.

Logan paused. "My homework?"

Carlos sighed, the sound coming out in a frustrated huff. "You're trying to make me feel smart. I know you saw me with Kendall earlier; I heard you guys talking in the living room. He told you why I was upset."

Carlos pulled his hand back from the book and slid his other leg off the bed, leaning forward to rest his forearms on his thighs. Logan pushed the books aside, moving so he was sitting next to Carlos. They sat in silence for a moment.

"Why would you think that?" asked Logan.

"Because you say it _all the time_." Carlos's voice had the same quiet, hitchy tone it had when he was speaking with Kendall, and Logan saw a tear drip from Carlos's eyelashes to the floor.

"Come on," said Logan. "No I don't."

"You said I was stupid when I thought there was a ghost in the Palm Woods; I have it on tape and everything. And then you said me taking a rollercoaster to a deserted island was stupid, and then you told me asking what fish sticks were made out of was a stupid question, even though you _know_ that's not what I meant. And then when I tried jumping from the top of the Swirly to the couch, you said that was a stupid idea — and, okay, that _was_ a stupid idea. And THEN you just said the other day that the '_Oh'_ Song was stupid!" Carlos's voice rose and broke, and he wiped his eyes angrily.

Logan grimaced. "I really said it that many times?"

"And I _am_ stupid," Carlos continued. "There wasn't even a real ghost, it was Stephanie! And taking a roller coaster on a deserted island would be stupid, too. I mean I wouldn't even have food or anything. And I nearly broke my neck jumping off the slide—"

"Carlos, stop. You're not stupid, you know you're not stupid."

"But you think I'm stupid."

"No I don't," Logan insisted. "Of course I don't."

"Then why'd you say all that stuff was stupid?"

"I wasn't thinking, I guess."

"You didn't think calling me and my ideas stupid long enough would start to make me think 'Hey, maybe I _am_ stupid'?"

Logan ducked his head, running a hand along the back of his neck. "No, I didn't, and I'm sorry. It's just something that comes out, you know? That's no excuse, but..." Logan sighed. "You're not stupid, Carlos, and I've never thought that about you. You're hilarious, and sweet, and amazing, and my best friend. _I'm_ the stupid one."

"No you're not," said Carlos, rubbing his nose. "You're super smart."

"Maybe I get good grades on tests, but that doesn't mean I'm smart," said Logan. "If I was smart I wouldn't say that stuff to you, or to _anyone_."

Logan leaned forward on his forearms, mimicking Carlos's posture.

"I really hurt your feelings, huh?"

Carlos wiped his nose, eyes fixed on the ground. He set his chin on one of his fists and nodded.

"Carlos," said Logan, quietly, but Carlos didn't look up.

"_Carlos,_" he said again, and he knocked their knees together, effectively earning Carlos's attention. When Carlos's eyes met Logan, they were just slightly red, the way they got when he was trying his hardest not to cry. Logan reached out two of his fingers, the tips of them just touching Carlos's jeans. "I'm sorry."

The tiniest of smiles broke Carlos's dry lips and he moved his hand up to his wipe his eyes, his fingers brushing Logan's in what Logan knew to be another purposeful gesture. "It's okay."

Logan's heart skipped. "Really?"

The smile passed again and Carlos nodded. He touched Logan's knee. "Just, try to stop saying stupid so much, okay?"

"Of course," said Logan. He sat up. "Of course. And Carlos, I'm sorry for any other stupid—"

Logan closed his eyes, feeling a slight embarrassed flush in his cheeks. Carlos squeezed his knee gently, teasing.

"—for anything else hurtful or mean or anything like that that I've ever said that's upset you," Logan apologized. "I didn't ever mean to hurt you."

Carlos squeezed his knee again. "I know."

"I love you," said Logan, running his palm over the back of Carlos's hand and lacing their fingers together. Carlos chuckled, curling his fingers back over Logan's.

"I love you too, Logie."

"You're not stupid," Logan repeated. Carlos brought their linked hands together, kissing the back of Logan's hand, and stood up. Carlos pushed his sleeves up to his elbows as Logan reached his arms far above his head, stretching.

"Okay, well, maybe just a little bit," Logan admitted. Carlos looked up, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, a slightly hurt look on his face.

"Of all of the_ millions_ of people in the _whole_ entire world," Logan continued, "you settle for me."

Carlos sighed and rolled his eyes, mumbling "Dios _mío_," under his breath and touching his forehead to Logan's shoulder, hooking his fingers through the front belt loops of Logan's jeans to pull him closer. Logan smiled, closing his eyes and reached his hand up to rest on the back of Carlos's neck, rubbing his thumb along Carlos's hair line. He kissed Carlos's ear.

"Pretty stupid."

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><p>Reviews? Anyone? Anyone? ...Bueller?<p> 


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